Devil's Dictionary

LIFE, n. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. We live in daily apprehension of its loss; yet when lost it is not missed.

LIGHTHOUSE, n. A tall building on the seashore in which the government maintains a lamp and the friend of a politician.

LITIGATION, n. A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.

LOCK-AND-KEY, n. The distinguishing device of civilization and enlightenment.

LOGIC, n. The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.

LOQUACITY, n. A disorder which renders the sufferer unable to curb his tongue when you wish to talk.

Ambrose Bierce