Devil's Dictionary

PRAY, v. To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.

PRESCRIPTION, n. A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.

RESPECTABILITY, n. The offspring of a liaison between a bald head and a bank account.

RESPLENDENT, adj. Like a simple American citizen beduking himself in his lodge, or affirming his consequence in the Scheme of Things as an elemental unit of a parade.

RESPONSIBILITY, n. A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one's neighbor.

RETALIATION, n. The natural rock upon which is reared the Temple of Law.

REVOLUTION, n. In politics, an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment. Specifically, in American history, the substitution of the rule of an Administration for that of a Ministry, whereby the welfare and happiness of the people were advanced a full half-inch.

Ambrose Bierce