Devil's Dictionary

LABOR, n. One of the processes by which A acquires property for B.

LANGUAGE, n. The music with which we charm the serpents guarding another's treasure.

LAWFUL, adj. Compatible with the will of a judge having jurisdiction.

LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.

LECTURER, n. One with his hand in your pocket, his tongue in your ear and his faith in your patience.

LEXICOGRAPHER, n. A pestilent fellow who, under the pretense of recording some particular stage in the development of a language, does what he can to arrest its growth, stiffen its flexibility and mechanize its methods.

LIAR, n. A lawyer with a roving commission.

LIBERTY, n. One of Imagination's most precious possessions.

Ambrose Bierce