Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Devil's Dictionary


PRAY, v. To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.

PRESCRIPTION, n. A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.

QUILL, n. An implement of torture yielded by a goose and commonly wielded by an ass.

QUOTATION, n. The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.

QUOTIENT, n. A number showing how many times a sum of money belonging to one person is contained in the pocket of another -- usually about as many times as it can be got there.

RELIGION, n. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.

REPORTER, n. A writer who guesses his way to the truth and dispels it with a tempest of words.

RESIDENT, adj. Unable to leave.

Ambrose Bierce

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