The Vatican Rag

My favorite aunt, Aunt Billie, almost laughed herself into a stroke every time I played this for her. She was a converted Catholic, which raised all the family Protestant eyebrows when it happened and was considered a tragedy because she did it in response to being "condemned to hell" by her sonofabitch father on his death bed. She was, at the time, a Big Band vocalist, of which he did not approve. So Billie converted, tried but failed to become a nun, and settled for giving most of her money to the church for the rest of her life. After her death, we discovered she also was a closet alcoholic -- literally, her tiny apartment absolutely filled with hidden empty liquor bottles. She died because she ran out of room to hide bottles.

But she was great all the same, my favorite aunt, with whom I played sports games and with whom I listened to jazz; even after converting and being condemned, she still loved music, bless her soul, and she went ape when she heard Tom Lehrer and especially thought The Vatican Rag was hilarious, which gave Catholics points in my secular universe. Aunt Billie was wonderful.