Anticipation

An hour before heading to doc .... I have that pit in my stomach Id get before going on stage to perform .... expect unpleasant news ... been too lucky ... how in hell can my almost vegetarian younger bro have a heart attack and I havent ... why am I the last one standing among close drinking buds .... gods have really cut me a deal ... cant last forever ... actually I dont mind passing but for damn sure mind close but no cigar incapacitation... better to go the whole hog ... Ive done my spiritual work to go ... this is not morbid or suicidal but a simple spiritual truth that scares the bejesus out of folks ... at any rate lets get this done so I can eat ha ha.