State of affairs

At Nobby’s with the AlphaSmart. There was a note left here for me from someone I don’t now … but the last name is Taylor, maybe it’s about Marie’s death. There’s a phone number, which I’ll call later.

I’m thinking of moving Sally to the back burner in official recognition of its difficulty. Then its slow progress won’t be so frustrating (front burner projects are supposed to move forward with a snap in their step). Its difficulty is technical, not personal. I’ve dealt with the autobiographical elements in this story before, most successfully in The Half-Life Conspiracy but also in parts of Kerouac’s Scroll and a recent poem. The technical aspects of the novel are the challenge here. There’s so much layering and subtle narrative movement to control. This draft may end up being in worse shape than my first drafts usually are but I am determined to tip toe forward as best I can, so I can see what it looks like when it’s whole. But in the meantime, I think I need something easier on the front burner so I feel a more immediate sense of accomplishment after a writing day.

Piano also goes forward slowly but I do see progress. I already see the obvious, the real learning challenge is hand independence. I created some exercises to help me with this, a simple right hand three-note phrase, quarter and eighth notes, to which I add different bass lines and rhythms in the left hand. As soon as I get one variation down, I have to start all over again with the next … so I’m still far from where I need to be.

I think I’ll attend the memorial service for Marie tomorrow, even though it’s four hours long. Maybe I’ll sit in the back in case it’s too long for me. I expect many 80s theater folks will be there, people I used to work with but haven’t seen in a very long time. I suspect this is what the note left for me at Nobby’s is about.

Thinking about Marie Selland, I remember her telling me how hard it was to play the blind bartender Dotty. Keeping her eyes still (she didn’t wear glasses) gave her headaches. She said it was one of the more challenging roles she’d ever had. She was superb, too.

My moods can be uneven through the day but mostly I keep positive about myself and the things directly in front of my nose. My demons will never disappear but they can be kept in their cage most of the time, venturing out now and again to help me in my work. I miss my deceased friends almost daily. As Elvis said in a movie, That’s the way the cookie crumbles.

Well, time to pack up, get home, and call the number so I can see what this message is about.