Thursday, December 03, 2009

Life as a yoyo

What a day! So I go to my doctor this morning and she feels around and pokes around and determines I don't have a swollen gland, and pokes and feels some more and slowly enters panic mode. This could be very serious, this could be cancerous, etc etc, she wants me to see a specialist immediately, fine I say, I am free tomorrow, no says doc, I mean TODAY, right away, but I have to get to the university, I object, it's the last day of classes, today she repeats, and she pulls some strings and I see a specialist after an hour and a half. And the specialist pokes and feels and reaches a different conclusion, I don't think this is cancer, I think this is a stone in the saliva gland, but I need a mess of tests at a more advanced facility to be sure, and this will happen next week.

Meanwhile, in the 90 mins my doc has me thinking it's probably the Big C, which I've been expecting for ages actually, a blessed life only going so far, gravy years only so far, I'm thinking how short my time is, how much to do, to prepare for, and I am almost in a panic myself, not about dying but about not having enough time to do some things that need to be done before I hitch the cosmic ride elsewhere.

But now apparently the Big C is a longshot. So we'll see what the tests say next week.

And I learn my doctor, a sweet young woman, is something of a wimp.

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