Devil's Dictionary

HATRED, n. A sentiment appropriate to the occasion of another's superiority.

HEATHEN, n. A benighted creature who has the folly to worship something that he can see and feel.

HEAVEN, n. A place where the wicked cease from troubling you with talk of their personal affairs, and the good listen with attention while you expound your own.

HERS, pron. His.

HISTORY, n. An account mostly false, of events mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers mostly knaves, and soldiers mostly fools.

HOMICIDE, n. The slaying of one human being by another. There are four kinds of homocide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy, but it makes no great difference to the person slain whether he fell by one kind or another -- the classification is for advantage of the lawyers.

Ambrose Bierce