Procedures

A grad student I worked with is having trouble getting her Masters degree form in order -- seems like some "errors" slipped past the personnel who should be on top of such things, until of course the last minute, and now the student has to run around trying to get the right info in the right spot on the form. Such hassles. I remember when I was a student at Berkeley, hand carrying a form around to officially drop out of school and being frustrated, then angry, at all the signatures I needed, people I had to track down ... in truth, I finally said fuck it and never did drop out. Consequently, I admit at this late date, I have a semester of F's from Berkeley. I never put these on my record and in those pre-computer days, the left hand didn't always know what the right hand was doing, so down the road I ended up getting a Phi Beta Kappa pin from UCLA, even though it's part of the same university system where I have a semester of F's from Berkeley. I never told UCLA I went there, and they never found out. Computers don't let you get away with such things today.

My Phi Beta Kappa story is a gem. I always took an overload at UCLA, hungry for knowledge in those days, so I'd take various Pass-No Pass classes, or sometimes just take something for a C, taking 21 to 24 units a term ... so I graduated with a low B average, not high enough to be considered for PBK. But as it happens, my classic Greek professor, who thought I was someone who should get a PhD in classical studies, was the president of PBK the year I took her course, and she was stunned that I was not a candidate -- so she snooped into my records, saw and understood what I was up to, and pushed me through for the award anyway. Remarkable! And I only took Greek in the first place because I was pissed I had to take a language at all, just getting out of the Army where I was a Russian linguist (!) (but getting 2 units short of the requirement as credit for it), so decided to take a term of German but the line was too damn long, and next to it was an empty table, and this was Classical Greek, so I took it, loved it, did damn well, had a lucky prof and ended up in Phi Beta Kappa. I used to wear my pin on my UCLA baseball cap until someone stole it and I never replaced it. Hmm, maybe I should. I can't even remember the secret handshake. There was one, wasn't there?