When you've had as long a career as I've had, you have the experience of writing and doing other creative projects in a variety of contexts and environments. Looking back, I think I've done my best work when I've been privately full of myself, arrogant and reckless, but keeping this energy interior as much as possible. This is when I took chances, this is when my reach was greater than my grasp (as it usually turned out), this is when I was sailing on my own wind. Some of my early short stories remain in the category of work I'm most proud of. Some of my plays in the 1980s are there as well.
At other times, usually as a writer for hire, I've been more safe and social, writing outside-in rather than inside-out, and I did decent work that I've forgotten.
As a teacher, I encourage my better students to become reckless and self-determining sooner rather than later. This is dangerous advice. Given to the wrong student, it can lead to insufferable and ignorant arrogance, rather than to artistic arrogance. The artist on top of craft knows when s/he fails more than anyone. It's the reach that matters, and if the reach isn't beyond the grasp, the artist sells himself short. You don't know how far you can reach until you try to go for it all.
In old age, I find myself being reckless again, and I like it. What, for me, is more reckless than composing the vocal score to a chamber opera!? It's madness. And yet I am loving every slow difficult moment of it.
I enjoy creating many of my videos the same way. But, in truth, it's been a while since I've been this reckless as a writer. That part of my life probably is over. Which is fine, as long as I remain creative -- and reckless -- in other areas.
Edward Albee said it best. When asked his favorite of his work, he replied, What I'm working on now. Otherwise why would I write?
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