Writing / Having written

Dorothy Parker is famous for saying that she hated writing but loved having written. I am the opposite. I love writing, from the brooding, chaotic energy of conceptual birth through the stages of increased coherence, liking most of all the rewriting process when craft tries to make the work as clear and energetic and dramatic as possible. But I am not so fond of "having written."

This latter varies with context. As a playwright and filmmaker, "having written" can be revealing because the finished product is a collaboration and actors especially can show you marvelous things you didn't consciously know you were doing.

Not so with non-collaborative fiction, poetry, prose. I like people to tell me they like something, of course, but I'm not wild about being trapped into discussion of my work because, after all, the work is an attempt at verbal communication and what I have to say is best said in the work itself -- or I have failed.

But what upsets me more than anything is when someone who says s/he likes a piece of work later shows a belief that I don't actually mean what I say, as when "real life" duplicates a dramatic situation in the work and the person doesn't connect the dots that my attitude about the situation is already expressed -- and is certainly not the opposite of what is in the work! This has happened on several occasions with women I've been involved with. In one extreme case, when I tried to explain this connection, she said, Yes but you just made the story up and THIS is really happening! My word.

The trouble with semi-retirement, or whatever phase of my life I'm in now, is that there's too little writing and too much having written.