Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Disease, doctors & death

I have my annual physical in a couple weeks. I wonder, Is this the year I have the "inevitable argument" with my doctor? This will happen when I "get something" and refuse treatment for it. I've decided to do this for a variety of reasons:
  • I've watched too many friends suffer and die from cures worse than the disease
  • I've lived a blessed life and don't intend to screw it up at the end
  • I don't believe in quantity of life over quality of life
  • I have no special reason to hang around beyond "the natural course of things"
  • Nature wins, and I see no reason to dispute the inevitable

I'm not suicidal, though there are circumstances, unpleasant ones, that would make me suicidal. I'd love for the gods to give me enough years to finish a few projects I'd like to do before I pass. But what happens, happens -- and I'm fine with everything that happens with one exception, I am kept alive when my quality of life is gone. I will make sure this doesn't happen if I have power to do so.

Now I doubt if my doctor at the moment approves of this attitude. I've seen clues, and this subject was hinted at last visit. For example, she wants me to have a colonoscopy. Well, I've already had two. That's enough for a lifetime -- but the point is, it would be pointless because if it discovered anything, I wouldn't do anything about it anyway. I am very serious here: I am in a mode that will let nature take its course and I have absolutely no faith in modern medicine. I've had too many friends suffer from it, each being told "well, we've made so many advances since then," and being talked into treatment they initially were against. I refuse to do that. I've had a blessed life. If it ends tomorrow, it ends tomorrow. If it ends in five years, it ends in five years. The gods will let me know.

1 comment:

MuseForce said...

Boy, it sure is good to hear that someone else is as sane as I am. I couldn't have said it better myself.