Going backwards

Journal update

Check out the update of Oregon Literary Review, with new video by Primus St. John.

Hype

About half a century ago or more, I was sitting around with some undergrad mates, drinking beer and solving the world's problems, when somebody suggested that the root of all our ills was language. Our very language "had the syph," as he put it; it was so diseased, corrupted by advertising and hype, that nothing meant anything any more. Language was no longer a tool with which to express truth. The language had the syph.

If he was right then, it's only gotten worse. And now, with the shackles removed from corporations with regard to influencing the political landscape, well, it can only get worse still. Hype is the norm and has been for some time. Not only in language but in behavior, commonplace action exaggerated in its meaning, mediocre art praised to the skies, and so forth and so on. As a culture, we've probably never been more stupid -- certainly our kids do worse than ever on international tests in science and math -- and yet we're told that we've never been more smart. We get Palin. And thousands love her ideas and think she is "wise."

The language has the syph. I wish I could remember the name of the guy who said that.

Routine

Ah, back to normalcy with H home. Friday is the my closest day to do-nothing, usually a slow relaxing kind of day, a little reading, maybe a movie, now the banjo, but usually little creative work. Then I start Saturday with a bang and put in a good morning.

Want to see Crazy Heart. Monday, I think. Also looking forward to playoff games Sunday and hoping for a Saints-Colts Super Bowl. Hoping may be a jinx, alas.

Banks

Yes, the country once upon a time was pretty darn close to the values depicted in It's A Wonderful Life. Bankers could be good guys. Your neighbors. Not greedy heads of greedy institutions. I once witnessed this myself. I've told the story before here but it's worth telling again.

After the army, in the early 60s, my best buddy Dick wanted to go back to school. He had a family, 2 kids. He needed a loan. His mom went to school with a guy who now was head of a bank in a small Idaho town. So a loan was arranged on the phone.

I drove with Dick to pick up the check. A beautiful drive through the Idaho palouse. We picked up the check. As we walked across the parking lot to leave, a secretary raced out and handed Dick something. "You need to mail us an application for our records," she said.

Those were the old days: get the money first with a phone call, formally apply for it after you get the check.

---

Frightening Supreme Court decision today. No limits on corporate spending in politics. Say what? It's almost surreal.

Energy

An exhausting week. Needed a nap every day. Aging? Flirtation of illness? At any rate, it's my Friday and I'm glad. Off to airport to pick up H tonight, welcome home.

Quotation of the day

The more things change, the more they stay the same department.

"Much indeed to be regretted, party disputes are now carried to such a length, and truth is so enveloped in mist and false representation, that it is extremely difficult to know through what channel to seek it. This difficulty to one, who is of no party, and whose sole wish is to pursue with undeviating steps a path which would lead this country to respectability, wealth, and happiness, is exceedingly to be lamented. But such, for wise purposes, it is presumed, is the turbulence of human passions in party disputes, when victory more than truth is the palm contended for," - George Washington, in a letter to Timothy Pickering, July 27, 1795.

Source

Top MFA programs

Poets & Writers magazine ranked the top MFA programs in the country. The Univ of Oregon, where I rec'd mine decades ago, is #10. The Univ of Washington is #31. Top five are the Univs of Iowa (as always), Michigan, Virginia, Mass., and Texas. I thought last year Pacific Univ was up there. Not on this list. Maybe it was a different list, there are so many of the damn things.

Busy, busy

It has been one hell of a day. Up very early, watched Sea of Love again to double check my scene outline, tweaked it and went to copy center when it opened. Back to read student work, got all their script pages done. Had to take a break, a cruise with Sketch to get the cobwebs out, half stir crazy. Now a little banjo practice before class tonight, which I look forward to.

In control for class tomorrow. That's the main thing.

Only a year later ...

What a difference a year makes. A year ago, Obama takes office on a platform of change and a new politics, a progressive agenda; and one year later, tonight a conservative Republican takes Ted Kennedy's old seat in the most liberal state in the union. Well, the Dems can't blame anyone but themselves. Obama's State of the Union should be very interesting indeed.

Office hours

Two great visits. First from Primus, delivering video he shot. Then from a former student who brought news he just finished shooting his first feature, a script he started in my class. Cool. A trailer is online here.

He's a musician and hocked everything he owned to shoot this on a $15,000 budget. He just got everything back out of hock. Love stories like this.

He made my day.

Mayhem in Mass.

This special election may not show politics at its best but it's unfortunately pretty typical, and all the name-calling and blame game stuff will follow quickly if the Dems lose, as seems likely, and the mess we already had is even more of a mess. But Obama has a big opportunity at his State of the Union to address all this mayhem and to start leading, more walk and less talk.

R.I.P.: Robert Parker

At the age of 77, "just sitting at his desk" at his home in Cambridge, Mass., according to an email sent out by a representative of his U.K. publisher Quercus, Robert B. Parker is dead. The news of Parker's death on Monday was confirmed by Parker's U.S publisher, Putnam; an official statement is expected later today, though on Twitter a representative wrote: "R.I.P beloved author Robert B. Parker. You were indeed a Grand Master, your legacy lives on, and you will be missed by us all." The thriller writer Joseph Finder also confirmed the news directly with Parker's family, said to be "in shock."And the Bookseller quotes Parker's UK editor, Nick Johnston: "He was a great talent who will be mourned by all his many fans."

More

Discovering Parker's literate, witty detective years ago was a joy. He had a neat girlfriend, too.

He died with his boots on, as they say. So did Moliere. So did B. Joe Medley.

Haiti

The American people have a big heart. Unfortunately we don't often get leaders who present us in the best light. Tell me why Israel can travel over oceans and efficiently set up a hospital while we arrive as a neighbor and are still stumbling around trying to get organized. When is the last time we did anything quickly and efficiently about anything? It's discouraging. And we call ourselves the best ...? I think there are other countries we can learn a few things from. And I'm not even a commie.

Democrats are unbelievable

Who would have thought that a Republican would take Ted Kennedy's senate seat in super-liberal Massachusetts? Only the Democrats would put up such a weak candidate, assuming it was a done deal. Only the Democrats would ignore the race until it may be too late.

And Brown, the opponent, has this ad linking himself with JACK Kennedy. My oh my.

So now the entire health care reform bill may crash with the loss, TED Kennedy's lifelong quest, irony upon irony.

"I don't belong to any organized political party. I'm a Democrat." Will Rogers

"Politics is pissing in public." Norman O. Brown

Now and again, I get it right

Some years back I reviewed the screenplay "Enemy of the State" for Creative Screenwriting magazine. It was an early draft and I loved everything but the last act, and said so. I was delighted to learn after the film came out that the third act had been changed, and now worked. I had gotten it right.

This comes to mind because I taped the film on TiVo and may watch it today. It's been a while. It's one of the better political thrillers.

Progress happens

With the world in its usual mess, it's easy to forget that progress actually happens. Even five or ten years ago, who would have thought that America would elect a black president? Progress is painfully slow but it happens.

However, we forget that the opposite happens as well. We may have entered a time of irrational fear and paranoia not matched since the McCarthy era.

In search of a maple bar

Drove across town to get my favorite maple bar, 9 a.m., figuring I'd get there before they run out, but forgot it's a holiday, no delivery, they were out anyway. Had to settle for a cookie.

Eager to make progress on the score today and this afternoon look at some student work, Onward.

Walking the talk

During a break in the game this afternoon, there was a local political ad. I knew an actress in it -- and I'm pretty certain she supports the opposite view of the ad she was in. Yet it's a paying job, but it raises an interesting question. When you do things for hire, do you actually have to believe in them? When I was an editor and writer at Oregon Business Magazines, I wrote some fluff pieces I wouldn't brag about today.


A screenwriter who didn't compromise is William Goldman. He was offered the first crack to adapt The Godfather. He turned it down, saying, he would not participate in the glorification of criminals. If everyone thought this way, the entire film market would change!

I've always admired him for walking his talk.

Pavlov in politics

Was watching the news and a story about Palin came on. Seeing her, I felt physically ill. I thought I was going to throw up my breakfast, just from seeing her. I changed the station and took deep breaths.

Playoffs

The Saints rocked yesterday and frankly I think New Orleans deserves good news and I'd like to see them go all the way. The Colts did not impress me. Their defense was strong but the Ravens beat themselves with penalties and turnovers. Yet the Saints-Colts would be a cool final. We'll see. Today I root for the Cowboys (I can't stand Favre) and the Chargers. If the Colts face the Chargers next week, they have to play a lot better than yesterday.

Golden Globes tonight. My favorite awards ceremony but I haven't paid much attention this year. The crop of films this year didn't impress me.

More banjo today -- and I must get down to the keyboard and write a few more measures.

H home Thursday, a shorter trip than usual.

Sullivan says

Andrew Sullivan, who hosts The Daily Dish, summarizes the current political landscape this way:

The Republican party right now is largely bonkers. The Democratic party is a lily-livered hackfest of mediocrity. I remain of the view that Obama is the best thing going for this country. But between the insanity on the right and incoherence on the left, he is marooned in a lonely center. Maybe in the long run, this is a better place to be. Right now it is making governance close to impossible, at a moment when we need all hands on deck.

I mostly agree with him.

Music drama projects

So far, I have two more in mind after the one I'm working on, which is the story of the last day in the life of an old man. I also want to do something with McKinley's dream. And I want to explore the possibilities of doing a "country" chamber opera, orchestrated with a string band.

If I have enough years left to do these three, it will be even more of a miracle than I've already experienced by lasting this long. One step at a time. If the gods grant me time to finish the current one, I will be grateful. Again. As always.

It's in this sense that the reader is something of a relief. I am reminded of a phrase at the end of a Lew Welch poem: what an extravagance! What a relief!

This is a good time of life for me, though I may have been late to realize this.

The clawhammer fingernail

When I was trying to learn this style on my own, I used the middle finger because that's what the teacher on a DVD used. I ended up tearing the hell out of it, which is when I went back to the Seeger strum, which doesn't have as driving or as traditional a sound.

This time, in class, I am using the index finger because that's what the teacher uses. And so far, the fingernail is fine. As a matter of fact, I think my index fingernail is stronger than my middle fingernail. Interesting. My middle fingernail got torn already, just using it to compare how the difference felt. The index fingernail is hanging in there. I didn't know fingernails have different strengths but they appear to.

So far, so good. I think I'm going to love this class: love its discipline and love the access to a live teacher to tell me when I am doing something wrong. She's a busy lady, on tour a lot, so I don't know if her second class will immediately follow but I hope so, I'd sure sugn up again.

Avoiding the basement

Never did get downstairs to my office and keyboard to work on the score this morning. Instead I did grunt work upstairs, getting the first 30 postcards out to libraries regarding the reader, and also getting my blackeyed peas simmering. And now the game is on soon, during which I'll practice the banjo and make more labels to libraries.

No problem. It all gets done in the wash, as mother used to say, when she wasn't saying people are more interesting than anybody. God rest her soul.

I had an incredibly close relationship with my mother. She even talked to me about her sex life with dad, information I'd just as soon have been spared.

Good morning

Off to the market. Feels like a blackeyed pea kind of day, so I'll make up a batch. Work on the vocal score this morning, watch football and practice banjo this afternoon. Banjo and a football game will go together.

Also overdue for making split pea soup. Will need scrapple next week, about halfway through this batch. And a good batch it is.

Sketch cuddled on the pillow in the corner of the divan, so he doesn't look like he wants to go to the market with me.

Waiting for new proof of the reader, hoping this is the one to approve.

Air lift

I wonder why they don't take an air lift and drop approach in Haiti as a stopgap until supplies are distributed. For example, helicopters dropping millions of unbreakable water bottles. Just a thought. There must be a better, quicker way to meet these tragedies.

Suffering

I'm always reminded of this poem by Auden during times of tragedy and suffering. I was studying it in a lit class the very week JFK was killed, and it stuck.

Musee des Beaux Arts W.H. Auden

About suffering they were never wrong,
The Old Masters; how well, they understood
Its human position; how it takes place
While someone else is eating or opening a window or just walking dully along;
How, when the aged are reverently, passionately waiting
For the miraculous birth, there always must be
Children who did not specially want it to happen, skating
On a pond at the edge of the wood:
They never forgot
That even the dreadful martyrdom must run its course
Anyhow in a corner, some untidy spot
Where the dogs go on with their doggy life and the torturer's horse
Scratches its innocent behind on a tree.
In Breughel's Icarus, for instance: how everything turns away
Quite leisurely from the disaster; the ploughman may
Have heard the splash, the forsaken cry,
But for him it was not an important failure; the sun shone
As it had to on the white legs disappearing into the green
Water; and the expensive delicate ship that must have seen
Something amazing, a boy falling out of the sky,
had somewhere to get to and sailed calmly on.
1940

Alien motivation

This reminds me of an old screenplay of mine: the aliens end up being cosmic real estate agents looking for a place to build a theme park of primitive life, and choose Earth.

Wonder

I have moments that come unannounced, as one did when I was doing errands this morning, when I am overwhelmed with a sense of my good fortune in this journey called life. I don't deserve good fortune. Indeed, there are reasons to assume I would have had bad fortune, certainly with regard to the way I abused my body for so many years. But here I am, still full of piss and vinegar despite the usual aches and pains of aging, a survivor of my 50s and 60s when any reasonable observer would have expected my departure. I'm still around. Moreover, I'm still around with considerable mental energy.

So I thank the gods for unexpected, maybe even unreasonable, favors. I do that a lot.

---

I need to remind myself that the media give a very false picture of the country. There are reasons to believe we are in better shape than they report. After all, we did elect Obama, a feat of considerable historic importance, a reason for national optimism. The fear mongers get far, far more voice than their numbers. There is more sanity in the country than the media lead us to believe.

Guilty by Suspicion

Perhaps the best drama made around the HUAC witch hunt in Hollywood. With a stellar cast headed by De Niro, this film tells a personal story about a workaholic filmmaker accused of being a communist, and the personal story is as important as the political one.

This film unfortunately is as timely now as ever because it's about the personal consequences when the culture is overrun by fear. We are close to such an era again. The fear mongers on the right are more powerful every day.

My nightmare is that the next loyalty card is going to be Belief. Belief in God as interpreted by the evangelicals, who just can't seem to wait for the Final Judgment. I don't expect to be around for this, it will take a few years to get this bad, and for this I will be thankful. I've always applauded the accident of my birth date and now I can add a new item to the list: a teen at the birth of rock and roll; too young for Korea, too old for Vietnam, just right for the Cold War; not raised on television; a college freshman for Sputnik, an era when science/math nerds were respected; pre-computer survival skills; dead, we hope, by the right wing evangelical takeover, or attempt at same.

Timing, as they say, is everything.

And this film feels contemporary to me, alas.

Friday

I love Friday. I love teaching but I also love Friday, Thursday night being the end of my teaching week. Friday gives me breathing space from responsibility for students and a focus on my own work for a few days before I return to the classroom. It's a good rhythm for me. Consequently I decided to sign up for 2010-11, my annual decision whether or not to retire from teaching. This year won't be my last.

Today is music day. Practice the banjo. Work on the vocal score.

I also have a recommendation I have to get in the mail today.

And if the weather is decent, the dog needs exercise.

Friday. Usually a fine day.

Blog comment of the day

From The Daily Dish.

You see that "Question with boldness" Jefferson quote at the beginning of the Beck/Palin video? Here's Jefferson's full remark:

"Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason, than that of blind-folded fear."

That's right. In a video in which he claims that God founded America, Glenn Beck references a quote in which our most important Founding Father stood tall and proud for agnosticism, and against the politics of fear.

Awesome.

Office hours

Brief chat with a grad student shooting a video for her project, a story with a dragon and as a costume designer she can make the dragon. Potential of a good project here, and I look forward to seeing it develop.

A day of discussion and in class exercises about "basic skills" things. The two hours will go swiftly.


Then home to watch some clawhammer videos I found on YouTube. Already I am understanding a basic error I was making when I tried this on my own, and already getting closer to the authentic clawhammer sound, which is very different indeed from the Seeger strum sound, all the more reason to learn it. I have moments when the sound is just right, so it's just a matter of practicing enough that these moments become consistent and repetitive. I am going to have a ton of fun with this.

Have we forgotten New Orleans?

As we pledge to help and not forget Haiti, how's our track record? Did we forget New Orleans?

Oops. Back to ... bump ditty, bump ditty ...

Beating a dead horse

Seeing Palin and Beck talk about "God" (and the Founding Fathers and--Palin's interjection--"The Founding Mothers") on Fox today was indeed revealing. She is not a Republican: she is a religious nut. Hence, as you discern, dangerous.

Aimee Semple McPherson plus Joe McCarthy plus George Wallace (or maybe substitute Joan of Arc for Aimee) plus the secular celebration of ignorance as a virtue = trouble, especially for a mixed-race, "Muslim," "non-American" President, who can be portrayed as both Lenin and Hitler simultaneously.

Read the story

"...the celebration of ignorance as a virtue." True and mind-boggling. I need to quit being seduced by politics and play the banjo ha ha.

Norman O. Brown

I've overdue for a re-reading of Love's Body. Helps me look at events with a wider perspective.

The Battle in Seattle

This is an impressive fictional account of the WTO protests in Seattle a decade ago, impressive in its dramatic decisions, giving a broad range of views and viewpoint characters, putting a human face on conflict and violence in the streets. Captures the chaos of street violence well. Doesn't take easy sides or make simplistic idealogical choices that would turn it into propaganda. You know where its heart is but you also see the complications and contradictions involved. Its ending message is "the battle continues." Here, in a small portion of its past, the battle is given more human face than often is done in political drama out to make a point.

The "Christian" Party

The Ailes launch of a new political-media party is being framed around Palin as a "reluctant to serve" outsider, a new Washington combined with Esther. Hence her resignation is a reason to support her! It proves that she was too pure, too Godly, to survive the worldly political corruption that infects everything in Satan's capital city, Washington. And that's why the elites will do everything to destroy her - not because they have some idea that a political leader should not be a congenital liar or ignorant of fifth grade history or devoid of any relevant experience - but because they are on the side of Satan....When McCain surrendered to Palin, it was his last - and unintended - blow to a sane or responsible conservatism.

Scary story -- possible?

Comments by a responsible conservative, or former conservative, thinker.

Small change, big difference

I continue to marvel at how different the rhythm of my day feels now, after my decision to come out with a reader and formally "retire" as a text-focused writer. Of course, I'm still at work -- but composing a music drama, a chamber opera, is different from writing words, you begin to think in musical lines rather than language. And this proves to be a significant difference.

But I think the most significant difference is now, unlike before, I'm working with a limited skill set. As a writer, I mostly did what I set out to do. Those who don't respond to my work don't respond to my values and tastes in literature, though they might call it lack of "skill." I set out to do things and mostly did them. Blame my choices and tastes, not my execution. But with music, I simply don't have the skills necessary to do what I want to do, so I'm left with doing "musical and dramatic notes" for an end product, or more specifically, I only can write a vocal score and libretto, and likely not as well as I'd write a play or a screenplay or a short novel. Perhaps this reduces some kind of pressure.

At any rate, the new mode is somehow more relaxing than the former mode. I'm not retired, strictly speaking, but I'm feeling close. Definitely a mellow time.

Today I put on my professor's cap, all day. It will be a good day.

Banjo class

Good class. I think this may be just what I need. Interesting stat: of the 11 students, 9 are women.

A crazy idea

A country chamber opera, orchestration by a string band.

Banjo

Eager to start my banjo lessons tonight, 8 weeks. Presumably I'll make more progress than when I tried to learn clawhammer on my own some time back and abandoned it for the
Seeger strum in the end. Really want that old-timey clawhammer sound. Still have other materials, books, a DVD, but it's always about practice, it is always about putting in the time. And this time around, music is front burner all the way around, what with my "formal retirement" as a writer. In fact, I just ordered a new proof embedding a few changes I made in the copy received. It should be ready to order after this one. The last page was blank, so I put FADE OUT on it, just on principle.

One decision to make is timing, getting to my lesson. It's across the river at 6, meaning I'd have to take one of the bridges during rush hour, or leave early, before rush hour, and pass some time at a coffee shop or somewhere. I think I'll leave here at 5 today and see how it goes.

Did a bit of work on student things. Looks like I do most of it in the morning.

Palin's future

O'Reilly effectively backs Palin's claim on the basis that her crammed, force-fed burbling of talking points in the Biden debate somehow refutes the idea that she hasn't the slightest clue what goes on in the world or the slightest knowledge of history outside of sports. And he is essentially pledging that News Corporation will advance her lies and spin, as it did by publishing her book, and protect her from any real scrutiny that a political candidate deserves.
...
I do not believe that this means she is out of politics. Au contraire. FNC and the RNC are effectively the same operation (and Harper Collins, which published her fiction as non-fiction with no fact-checking or editing is also part of NewsCorp). Her new job is running for office via the chief propaganda network for the red states. The strategy is obviously to focus entirely on the base, demonizing the president and anything he does, exploit economic malaise, and then get back to power on a wave of frightened white ressentiment with Palin as the hood ornament one more time.

I fear her.

Source

So do I, as well as fear the lost souls, thousands and thousands of them, who support her. Ignorance and lying are always dangerous, and we haven't seen the likes of her since McCarthy. Only she is even more dangerous because she appears to be "positive," a good innocent Christian just acting out God's Plan. May the gods save us from such egomania and ignorance!

But I also fear this: we get the politicians we deserve.

Deemer's Equation of the Meaning of Life

Natural Disasters + Human Evil + Ignorance + Bad Luck + Natural Beauty + Love + Knowledge + Good Luck + Art = 0

An early start

Taking H to the airport at 430 a.m. Wow. I'm an early riser but this sounds a little extreme. I'm sure I'll come home and crash for a bit.

A relatively easy day but then banjo lessons begin in the evening.

Need to finish proofing the reader, send a corrected file, and get another proof.

Looking forward to the playoff games this weekend actually.

Breaking the unbreakable

A reporter at the electronics convention in Las Vegas last week broke an unbreakable cell phone, according to a story I read today. This reminds me of an incredible ad I saw in the early days of TV.

That master of wit Oscar Levant had an afternoon show in LA. Everything was live. He was doing an ad for an unbreakable clock, reading the words from cue cards obviously, and at one point, mentioning it was unbreakable, he stopped, got a crazed look on his face and slammed the clock against the floor. The camera couldn't keep up with his antics as he next started jumping on it. In the end, the clock was destroyed. I was amazed! And I saw it! And there was no instant replay in those days either, so I didn't get to show mom or my brother, I just had my own fortunate memory.

Seahawks

I'm so jacked I wore my Seahawks cap to school!

Pete Carroll

Carroll was a hell of a good coach at USC -- and this from a UCLA alumnus! But it's good to see him leave L.A., all the better for my Bruins, and it's especially good to see him come to the Seattle Seahawks. I think he'll do great things up here. I hope I hang around long enough to see it happen.

Scheduling a life

My wife is the busiest person I know. She is forever paging through her appointment book, trying to find a blank spot to add some meeting or other, some lunch or gallery opening or visit or lecture.

I, on the other hand, have never owned an appointment book. I do have a calendar on my office computer, on which I list medical appointments mainly. That's it. I seldom have an appointment to do anything anywhere. This has been true all of my life.

I'm not sure what this says other than that H is networked everywhere and I'm not networked at all.

I think she gave me an appointment book once for my birthday or Christmas. Someone did, some years ago. I never wrote one thing in it.

The professor

I put on my teaching cap this morning, doing grunt work like getting my grade book ready for the term. Not a stressful day in class: watch 30 min DVD of interviews with screenwriters; after discussion, we'll watch 30 min Frankenweinie and I'll see if the class can break it down into its beginning-middle-end structural elements. Thursday I'll review the Basic Skills chapter in my book. And that's the week.

Take H to the airport at 5 a.m. tomorrow so I'll be out and about early. May get breakfast somewhere, likely Fat City if I do, Nobby's not opening until 8. And tomorrow is my first banjo class! I'm looking forward to this. If I actually master clawhammer finally, finally, finally, I may well make a CD to give to friends for Xmas. My left hand is fine from guitar and the banjo style I already know. I was getting close to clawhammer on my own when I destroyed my fingernail, and so went back to the safer Seeger strum. But clawhammer definitely has the old-timey feel more than any other style. And that's the style I'm attracted to.

I started a compelling odd tune for the aria of the wife ghost last night, just a line to remember and get me started. What I have to guard against is monotony, both rhythmic and tonal. At least I know. I find myself putting down a rather monotonous tune, then jazzing it up later.

I refuse to worry about anything until I have a draft, however. It's the only way I'll ever finish. My skill set is limited enough I could spend the rest of my life on the first four measures ha ha. I wish I could convince my students to take this approach!

Lap dog

Shot with the pen. This gives a consistent yellowish tint. In use, I may convert to black and white.

Proof at hand

The mail brought a proof of my reader (see column at right), and a hefty paperback it is indeed! I don't plan to proof by reading it since nothing previously unpublished is in it but rather go through it page by page, all 677 of them, to make sure the format didn't hang somewhere. Then approve it and make it generally available.

Its physical existence does feel like the end of something. A retirement of a certain focus, a certain image of myself. I'm a variation of the same, working on the opera score, but there's something new at hand. I feel it in my gut.

I'll give a copy to my archive, the library, a few friends, and that's about it. There is no significant market for this, which of course I knew going in.

But I'm also damn proud of it. It's an accurate representation of my career as a writer. I own up to it, totally.

Scrapple!

Just made a new batch, or rather my easy kitchen version of same. I love this stuff and most of the time it's in the refrig. When I run out, usually less than a week passes before I make up another batch, which is very quick and easy. I just love the stuff!

Some grunt work to do before class but I should be able to handle it tomorrow morning. Which leaves the rest of today for reading and maybe a movie, or even working more on my score. Man it's imperfect but I stubbornly stumble forward, knowing the best time to revise and fix is later when I have the entire score in front of me. I'm at the section where the old man is confronted by the ghost of his late wife.

A mellow day

Worked on the score for an hour or so this morning. Then reading, new book a history of the Cold War, another good one, about which more later.

Wednesday H takes off for another east coast trip but this one shorter than usual, only a week. And my banjo lessons start Wednesday.

In search of Mozart

We caught this feature-length documentary at the Art Museum this afternoon, and a good film it is. Interestingly enough, it made me even more appreciative of Peter Shaffer's accomplishment in Amadeus, not because his script is filled with fiction but because he manages to create a compelling, accelerating narrative that is true to the spirit of the man. And this is the task of historical drama: not to be factual but to be true.

See my essay Writing the History Play: why dramatists lie in the pursuit of truth.

Outstanding book

The Vietnam War: A Concise International History
Mark Atwood Lawrence
(Oxford, 2008, 214 pages)

I have the highest praise for this book. Very well written, it tells the Vietnam story from a wide perspective that gives us both American, Vietnamese and European points of view about the war and its various roots, strategies and consequences. That so much can be told in so little space is an achievement in itself. This is historical writing at its best.

Although there are many differences between Vietnam and Afghanistan, there also are frightening similarities, particularly with regard to the American mindset in defining its goals and defining strategies with which to achieve them. The Middle East is more likely than not, in my view, to become Obama's Vietnam, and this will be another U.S. foreign affairs tragedy.

It is discouraging how little we learn from history. Indeed, we seem to learn nothing.

New website

Started a new website, Composer Wanted!, with which I'll hope to attract interest in the future from composers inspired to orchestrate and improve my chamber opera. No need to publicize it until I have a score to show.

Through the looking glass with Sarah Palin

If there’s anyone else left out there who doesn’t believe that Sarah Palin can look you in the eye and tell you black is white, I have a present for you. Here is the transcript of a five minute conference call with Sarah Palin, Meg Stapleton, the Anchorage Daily News, and local TV stations KTVA, and KTUU. The journalists got one question each with no follow up.

I’ve been struggling to find the right terminology for this. She has jumped the shark. She has landed on Fantasy Island. She has slipped through the looking glass. She’s Queen of Denial. She has become the Head of Orwell’s Ministry of Truth… choose whichever metaphor works for you.

Here is the transcript of Palin’s interview by these journalists, after the Branchflower Report on the Troopergate investigation was released, stating that she had abused her power as governor. As a matter of fact, let’s review Finding Number One as it is written:

“For the reasons explained in section IV of the report, I find that Governor Sarah Palin abused her power by violating Alaska Statute 39.52.11(a) of the Alaska Executive Branch Ethics Act.

“The legislature reaffirms that each public officer holds office as a public trust, and any effort to benefit a personal or financial interest through official action is a violation of that trust.”

Source

In case anyone needs reminding.

Reds

I watched this for the first time in a long time. What an incredible achievement, epic in thrust, gripping, and apparently true in the main. Here, for example, is Louise Bryant herself writing about Reed's last days:

But I must go back to tell you how I found jack after my illegal journey across the world. I had to skirt Finland, sail twelve days in the Arctic ocean, hide in a fisherman’s shack four days to avoid the police with a Finnish officer and a German, both under sentence of death in their own countries. When I did reach Soviet territory I was at the opposite end of Russia from Jack. When I reached Moscow he was in Baku at the Oriental Congress. Civil war raged in the Ukraine. A military wire reached him and he came back in an armored train. On the morning of September 15th he ran shouting into my room. A month later he was dead.

Source

And here is how some on the left view the film.



Even at three and a half hours, it didn't feel long to me. An incredible achievement indeed. Films like this only come by a few times in a generation.

Aria

Here the old man tries to explain to his doctor why he won't accept treatment for cancer.

3 modes of an obsessive mind

It has occurred to me that a common denominator in my journey has been the obsessive nature of my mind. I have an energetic, focused mental life, though the content has changed over the years. It looks this way: mathematician --> writer --> composer, in terms of focus, but the form has been very much the same. I'm reminded of the logger poet Fred Ross, who hated people to compare him to Robert Service, saying, "Robert Service never wrote a logging poem in his life."

I wake up already with music in my head, a quick transition indeed. I've been rewriting the opera's first aria this morning. I admit I'm no great shakes as a composer, but I've also heard much worse ha ha. And the themes, attitudes, dramatic juxtapositions are moving the story forward.

---

I somehow missed "Across the Universe" when it first came out. What an original and compelling film! Not so much a story, though there are characters with narrative lines, as a visual tone poem and tribute to the Beatles. My only regret is the film came out before they cut Abbey Road, where so many of their best songs are. I would have loved to see Golden Slumbers be a part of this.

---

My former student, the Saudi woman, has just been hired to create her second comedy series for television over there. She is becoming my most successful student -- and well deserved. I still think her Masters thesis, a screenplay, would be a successful film if somebody did it.

A leisurely day. More work on the opera, of course. Some reading ... I am nearing the end of the Vietnam war history I'm reading, an incredibly good book. It's extraordinary how many good books there are in the world. Any writer hopes s/he makes even the smallest contribution to the tradition.

I wish we didn't live in a zero-sum universe. Everything, and I mean EVERYthing, would be so much more pleasant.

Sea of Love

Just watched Sea of Love -- had forgotten what a model of film storytelling it is, tight focused scenes, not a wasted moment, relentless forward narrative -- I'm getting a DVD to show my class. I'll make an annotated guide and show it early on. It really is a model for the efficient film scene.

Last Poems

Coyote's Journal published Last Poems by Bill Deemer. The journal has been very supportive of his work over the years.

Deleted by request

Rhythm

Already a productive morning. Wrote an aria that is very nice melodically but boring as hell rhythmically, so need to fix that later this morning. Progress is slow but sure so far. This piece will find its own length. I don't want an intermission, so I am guessing between 30 minutes and an hour.

Interestingly enough, if the gods grant me time to finish this, I know the next chamber opera I want to do, an idea that's been on my mind for years, indeed decades, that I dealt with first in a history play as a graduate student, i.e. McKinley's dream. But first things first. I have as much as I can handle here.

Need to get to the store today to get the makings for scrapple. It's scrapple weather for sure.

Busy and mellow at the same time. I like it.

Playback

I neglected to balance the tracks before I posted the audio example below. The bass line (doctor) is hard to hear as a result. I'll fix that the next time I post something from the opera.

Ready to get to work on it now.

I love Fridays! End of the teaching week, a few days to focus selfishly on my own work without worrying about how students are doing. Come Monday, I'll be ready to put on the professor's cap again. A nice cycle.

New year

The new year is starting out so wonderfully, it's scary. Well, the weather sucks, so it's not perfect, but on the other hand the weather is great compared to what it is back east.

I guess I'll always be a Pasadena boy in terms of weather comfort. I like my winters to have lows of 55.

Eager to work on the new lyrics I wrote during office hours.

Heard back from the artistic director in Tampa, who had some basic questions about the form. He is definitely interested and his last words were, "I'll be in touch." Now if this came from Hollywood, as it has in the past, I'd kiss it off and never expect to hear from the guy again, but in general theater types are more honest than movie types, or such has been my experience, and so I won't be surprised if I hear back from him. And disappointed if I don't.

The hyperdrama has been online for 8 years now and this is the first time anyone inquired about actually producing it, though it's gained a few fans along the way who have read it. But it's a beast to do, as any hyperdrama is. But, man, do a decent production, and something like this could put a theater company on the map. I hope he goes for it. Duh.

Saw the last quarter of the championship game and was impressed that Texas got back into the game with a freshman QB in for the injured McCoy. But then everything fell apart at the end. The game I saw was closer than the score.

The Seagull Hyperdrama

Never in my wildest dreams did I expect a theater company to have the balls or resources or imagination to produce a hyperdrama this ambitious. And yet I just received an inquiry about rights from a company in Tampa. Man, I'm crossing my fingers on this one! I'd love to see it done before I pass into the black hole.

Check out the Seagull Hyperdrama.

Office hours

Very productive, writing lyrics for the next section, changing to 3/4 time. I'll work on the music tomorrow. One foot after the other.

I actually couldn't have started this project sooner because I couldn't do it as long as those two monkeys were on my back. Everything is happening according to its karma, as Swami Kree says.

Escaping criticism

What an incredible painting Bob Hicks has posted at his Art Scatter blog.

That kid crawling out of the picture frame is from an 1874 trompe l’oiel painting by Pere Borell del Caso, and he lives at the Banco de Espana in Madrid. The title of the painting? Escaping Criticism. Seems Pere Borell had some issues with the nattering nabobs of the press, and he whipped up a pretty foolproof case for himself.

This is so "modern" in its attitude.

Incredible

The only officially recognized survivor of both atomic bomb blasts in Japan died on Monday in Nagasaki. Tsutomu Yamaguchi was 93 years old and died of stomach cancer. Yamaguchi was a ship designer on a business trip to Hiroshima on August 6, 1945, when the first atomic bomb was dropped. He was badly burned but got on a train home to be with his family in Nagasaki. Three days later, the second bomb was dropped there. Writer Charles Pellegrino interviewed Mr. Yamaguchi and other survivors for his upcoming book "The Last Train from Hiroshima."

Source

This, that and the other

Gathering my things to head out, I discovered I'd left my 3 textbooks in class Wednesday night. Aging! Well, they were still there, thanks to our honest faculty and students. But jeez.

Ran into a new student on the bus, who has a publishing record already, a grad student, and I suspect he'll do well.

Here early to mellow, browse, brood and be available for students.

3 hours --> 1 minute

After about 3 hours of work, I think I have the first minute of my chamber opera. In this sample, we open with an old man learning from his doctor that he has cancer -- and he requests physician-assisted suicide, figuring he's had a great life, why wait around for it to get worse. But the doctor is horrified since there's treatment, chemo, available and recovery chances are good. The old man insists it should be his decision.

In the sample, everything but piano is a VOICE. The old man opens. Then the doctor comes in at a faster tempo, and finally they sing a layered duet.

Banjo lessons

Starting next week, start banjo lessons, clawhammer, see if I can get this style down. Didn't too well trying to master it on my own. Slipped back into the Seeger strum I learned in high school over 50 years ago.

Health

I've been feeling "half sick" for weeks now, as if I'm catching something but never actually getting it. Maybe it's another symptom of aging. I take naps and never used to. Two hours in the classroom can exhaust me, as Tuesday, coming home straight to bed. Ah, getting old, getting old, what a trip. It's a process of the body distancing itself more and more from the mind.

The year in review

It was a year of changes, including some profound ones, on both the personal and professional fronts.

• Personal front
  
  • Getting rid of the "Sally" monkey. All writers draw from personal experiences. We know where our best material comes from. I've been aware that the "soul mate" who decided she was a lesbian would influence my work in many ways, as indeed she did. "Sally" influenced my play "The Half-Life Conspiracy" and my novel "Kerouac's Scroll." But she, the experience, still bugged me. I hadn't resolved it in the work. Something was missing. Then a strange request came: to attend a reunion of graduate students from the University of Oregon, 1965-1975, the very years of the experience. Would "Sally" be there? The question led to a video, a fictional memoir, called Deconstructing Sally. This was the work that got the money off my back. Bob Hicks even gave it a generous review, the only video I've ever had reviewed.
  • Getting rid of the Cold War monkey. My experience as a Russian Linguist during the Cold War, 1959-1962, was extraordinary but I'd only used it in my work in a few short stories. Surely an epic novel was there, the kind of thing young Mailer or Jones wrote about their wars. I made many false starts at it over the past forty years. Then, of a sudden, it occurred to me that I was aiming too high. This experience didn't have to lead to an epic novel. Let it take you where it went. Think smaller. The result was a novella, Baumholder 1961, and in 75 pages I got the Cold War monkey off my back.
  • Ridding myself of these two monkeys has been liberating because each bugged me, affecting how I felt, the subtext of my life. The Big C scare and the wake up call. When a substantial, growing lump appeared under my jaw, my doctor felt certain it was cancer. A specialist, however, disagreed and tests proved her right. It was "probably" a stone in a saliva gland. However, for a time, thinking I had cancer, I remembered how quickly the end can, and probably will, come. I lost my closest two friends to cancer. Each was fine one day, diagnosed the next, and dead several months later. Fine one day, diagnosed the next, and dead several months later. So one might get only a few months notice to the end. Not much time to accomplish anything you've been putting off. I was driven to think hard about my priorities. Finally I made a profound personal decision: to retire as a writer. Not as a creative person. As a writer. No more plays, no more novels, no more short stories. Well, maybe I'd still dabble in screenwriting because it was fun and less demanding of rhetorical hard work. Retire as a writer. What a concept! And to formalize the decision, I'd collect the work that mattered most to me into "a reader." Yes, I decided to retire as a writer -- and since writing had been my life, this was a profound personal decision.
    
  
  
• The Professional front
  
  • Publications. 2009 saw publication of the work that got two monkeys off my back. And it saw me selecting the work that would go into A Charles Deemer Reader, to be published early in 2010.
  • A new direction. During the Big-C scare, when it hit home that one day I might be given an eviction notice with only a few months warning, when I was deciding on priorities, I realized that the great unrealized work ahead of me was to compose and write a chamber opera, or as much of it as my skill set allowed. I could write a libretto, vocal lines, a basic elementary piano score. A future composer could use this as foundation and run with it. This would take a long time, maybe more than I had, but if I didn't start now, I never would. So retiring as a writer really meant struggling for birth as the composer/librettist of a chamber opera. To make things easier, and because it's where my narrative interests were, I decided to use the very same story I had been working on as a short novel, the last day in the life of an old man. Appropriate enough, hey! This would be my project, probably my last project given its difficulty and challenge, and my barely functioning skill set with which to approach such an endeavor. I am calling the piece Life Is A Nice Place To Visit with a subtitle Musical and Dramatic Notes for a Chamber Opera. I've begun. It's going to be painstakingly slow, and I should have started several years ago. I am hoping the old cliche "better late than never" applies here.
  • So it's the end of one thing, the beginning of another, in this, the last act of my adventure. I feel satisfaction at what I accomplished as a writer. I feel lucky to be living, still, on what Raymond Carver called "gravy time." Yes, the gods have blessed me indeed. And I feel more at peace than I have in a long time, which I think is a result of retiring, of no long chasing that "last great literary work" that will catapult me out of the marginal shadows into the light. As a writer, I've already done my best work. What's there is there. This has not been an easy thing to admit. The good news is, It is available many places. Since it has a few fans, it can have more. It's good work. I feel confident about that. I have far less confidence as a composer. I'm not a good composer but I hear music in my head and I have learned how to write it down and there are moments of compelling music. I think a composer interested in my story and themes would find enough to run with it, to make it something worthwhile. So my job is to get down as much of the stuff in my head down as possible. It ain't doing anyone any good in my head ha ha.
  • Already I see that the rhythm of my life is very different now. More relaxed, less frantic. Less worrisome. I won't speculate why. Some obvious reasons. Some complicated ones.
    
  
  

What a year! How much I would have missed if I had died in 2008! I am blessed indeed. Of course it makes absolutely no sense that I outlived my closest friends, all of whom had less self-destructive lifestyles that I had for 30+ years. The only explanation is mind over matter because I've always been tough-minded and existential in my dealings with life and death. The gods, for whatever reasons and purposes, have been kind to me.

Another crash

Spent the afternoon in bed. May go back and miss First Wednesday.

Failing our kids

MORSE
So if you asked me, Wayne Morse, name
the one thing in our country that you
think will do more to strengthen
American foreign policy in the next
half century, you might be surprised
at my reply. I would say, Do something
to protect the educational standard of
American boys and girls. Do something
to protect American brain power.
Because the only sure and lasting
defense of peace is a highly educated
and enlightened citizenry.

A new study has old news: American 4th graders test poorly in math and science with many small countries ahead of them, even countries considered Third World! Our education system sucks in this regard -- and so the late Sen. Wayne Morse's dream above, which ends my one-man play American Gadfly, did not get realized.

Obama talks the talk of a science education president but he's talked another talks without the walk, so we'll have to wait and see. Meanwhile our kids suffer and will grow into a world into which they, for a change, are not leaders and masters of the technological world.

Mike and Mike in the morning

This has become my favorite radio show, though with its 3-7 a.m. broadcast time I only catch snippets of it at various times. It's informative sports news in a highly entertaining package. The chemistry between them is perfect. To bring home the point, they took two weeks off over the holidays and the show sucked as a result. Nobody replacing them could bring close to the same energy. It's not the format, it's the interaction and personalities of the Mikes. I love the show.

Every journey begins with a small step

The title comes from an epigram by my brother, Bill Deemer: "Life is a nice place to visit / but I wouldn't want to live there."

Food for thought

There's so much goodness and admirable, even mind-boggling, accomplishment in this world, no wonder there's also a lot of torture, madness and evil. It's a zero-sum universe, and we need the bad because there's so much good.

Unfortunately most of the time the media only tell us about the negatives.

Close but no cigar

At the end of a career, and I'm at the end of a writing career and beginning something a bit different now, reflection is natural. And among the things I remember are positive feedback and commentary under sometimes special and sometimes public conditions. For example, in no particular order ...

• The poet who told me my story "The Idaho Jacket" was the best fiction he'd ever read about the Pacific Northwest. I think he's wrong but I'll take it for a rainy day.
• The director who told me the blue toilet paper gag in "Christmas at the Juniper Tavern" was one of the best visual jokes he'd ever seen on stage.
• The audience member who at the curtain of "Country Northwestern" yelled out in the darkness, "This play has balls!" How I'd like to fill an audience with 200 of this guy!
• The many published reviews and commentary of support and constructive criticism by Bob Hicks over the past 30 years, last year in support of Juniper and my new digital video Deconstructing Sally. Hicks has been the most intelligent critic in town over the years, and it doesn't hurt at all to have him in your corner.
• The university dean who wrote me that "The Seagull Hyperdrama" was a significant scholarly achievement.
• The patron of Portland theater who, years ago as an old woman, created a special award just to give it to me (and write it off her taxes). Patron of the arts in the best sense of the tradition, this.
• The best practicing novelist in the Northwest giving me a generous blurb for the back cover of a new book a few years ago.
• The Seattle editor who called my first hyperdrama the second most important performance event in the NW for the year (a quarter century ago now), behind an appearance by Barishnikov.
• The weekly newspaper that selected me as one of the 100 people who most "made Portland Portland," although the Portland to which this refers is long, long gone. No wonder I'm nostalgic!
• And too many more to list.

So even if I'm not rich and famous, it hardly has been an invisible career, just a typical one on the margins of center stage in this star-driven culture we live in. We had our moment of relative fame, and then we didn't, and none of it has anything to do with the work. It's the work that matters, and the work is there, still. So I retire with a strong sense of accomplishment, a bit of pride, more of humility, and I move on to a new challenge that is probably beyond my skill set but I'll sure have fun trying.

Strange crash

Went to bed as soon as I got home after class, feeling vaguely ill. Four hours later, I feel fine. I think it was general exhaustion, two hours of performance (in terms of energy) taking more out of an old hobbling body than a young strutting one.

Randi Douglas, as fine an actress as I've ever seen on an Oregon stage (did a one-person Molly Bloom show for years), is now a senior citizen herself and auditing. Great to see her.

I'll read a bit and return to bed. Into an excellent short history of the Vietnam war. More after I finish.

At the office

Back in my comfy university office, about to head to class. Last term evaluations were good -- I thought it wasn't my best classroom performance so I'm a tad relieved but still intend to do better this term. I want to teach the perfect term one time before I retire ha ha!

A good start

Began the score, working several hours this morning. Now it's time to put on my teaching hat for the rest of the day.

Humility

It is a humbling experience, to say the least, to sit at a piano keyboard and try to compose the notes for the opening couplet of a music drama. Vague music in my head but too vague, so I fiddle around, just like fiddling around on the guitar, and wait for something to sound right. This project will take a long time. May the gods continue their watch over me.

---

First day of class! I'm excited. I do enjoy teaching -- well, most of it. I'm just about ready. But first, a bit of time composing this morning, my goal to write maybe two bars that sound right to me.

The uses of screenwriting

Now and again I learn that skills honed in screenwriting can be applied far beyond writing for the screen. For example, a former student, who became a tech writer, once told me that the most useful course he ever took to help him write computer manuals was, yep, screenwriting! It taught him efficiency and focus and writing for folks who hate to read -- and filling the page with white space.

And so today, another application, this one in marketing. Check it out.

Life Is A Nice Place To Visit

My life seems to work mainly in alternating modes: Obsession and Funk. Funk is what happens between obsessions, a relatively listless unfocused time between projects that really matter to me (as opposed to commercial projects, which are done from a different energy source). My last obsessive project was the video Deconstructing Sally, and as I've gotten older I've worried that each obsessive project might be the last one. One can only say so much in new ways, after all. And I think I've reached the end of the road as "a literary writer," as one using language alone to communicate. My literary archive is huge. What can I do that I haven't already done or tried to do?

This is why A Charles Deemer Reader is such an inspired idea, to formally create The End to this mode of working. And to move on to new difficult challenges.

Life Is A Nice Place To Visit, which I'll call a chamber opera for lack of a better term, is buzzing in my head. I can't wait to sit down at the piano and get at the work seriously and routinely. A long overwhelming project! An incredible challenge. I can't even do it completely: the best I can do is write the drama and musical vocal lines, and a minimum piano accompaniment, and subtitle what I have "Musical and Dramatic Notes for a Future Composer" and hope that after I pass some composer of talent will find something to run with in it. And I'll never know if this happens or not, of course, but it's a gamble worth taking because, as Camus has written, the struggle alone is enough to fill a man's heart.

The struggle is enough to fill a man's heart. And that strikes me as rather the point, after all.

What it might look like

First take on contents might be:

STORIES
The Idaho Jacket
The Man Who Shot Elvis
The First Stoplight in Wallowa County
Lessons from the Cockroach Graveyard
ESSAYS
Confessions of an Oregon Playwright
Birthing Little Richard
Liquor and Lit
PLAYS
The Stiff
The Half-Life Conspiracy
Christmas at the Juniper Tavern
Oregon Dream
SCREENPLAY
The Brazen Wing
SHORT NOVELS
Love At Ground Zero
Baumholder 1961
POEMS

This would come in at between 650 and 700 pages, which is about right for a swan song. If I took a nickel royalty, price should be between 20 and 25 bucks. No audience except friends and libraries.

Banjo class

For several years I've been wanting to take a clawhammer banjo class from a particular teacher in town but her classes have been when I teach. Now she's offering a Wed night class -- and I'm signing up! Another facet of the New Year revolution mentioned earlier. Less writing, more music.

Revolution!

"Out of the nowhere's forehead, born full arm'd...", my professional life has a new plan. The notion of publishing "a reader," an anthology of the work I'm most proud of, feels like a period at the end of a 50+ year writing career. Maybe it's the Big C scare, maybe it's the subtext of an unlettered New Year's resolution, whatever it is, I think I am going to run with it. This feels like retirement as a writer, the way I've been at it these many decades, but not as a creative person.

That is, with the clock ticking louder than ever, I am reminded that the great unrealized project of my recent desires is a music drama, a chamber opera, whatever it would be called, a drama for which I would write music and text, and perhaps even video it. I don't have the skills required to do it all (orchestrate it, for example) but I can do a lot of it, if slowly. I think it's time to begin. The novel I've been working on has a story easily cast to the new form -- in fact, better told with music since music can disguise and communicate melodrama far better than text alone can. Yes, this last day in the life of an old man can be an opera of sorts, not a short novel. I can devote the time remaining to me to composing music, primarily, and I'll certainly need all the time the gods can give me.

I even have a new working title, "Life Is A Nice Place To Visit," after an epigram written by my brother. I'd have a subtitle to cover my ass: Dramatic and Musical Notes for a Chamber Opera. I'd publish it, whatever I have near the end, if I have warning to do so, in hopes some genuine composer would pick up the ball and run with it. Networking with the future. I like that. I do so little of it.

What a change! And so suddenly! It all began with a title, "A Charles Deemer Reader," and I thought, an end, The End, and on to a new challenging adventure. After all, does the world need another novel or play by yours truly? Hardly. My archive already is stuffed with them.

But this, a chamber opera, a music drama, is completely new for me, although I've been talking about it for several years now. "Time's winged chariot" has gotten my attention. Put up or shut up. Shit or get off the pot. I already hear music in my head, which tells me this is the right thing to do.

What to put in a reader? What fun, as my late friend Jim Wiley used to say.

Esther's Obituary

Obituary of Esther G. Price

ESTHER G. PRICE, 90, Orofino
1919 - 2009

Esther Gladys Price, 90, passed away on Thursday, December 31, 2009, at the Clearwater Valley Hospital in Orofino, after a sudden bout with pneumonia. She was surrounded by family and friends.

Esther was born on January 26, 1919, at the family home in Kendrick, Idaho, to Oscar and Anna Bolon-Aiken. Esther went to school in Kendrick and always loved being an Idaho girl. From an early age she enjoyed the outdoors; especially gardening. In 1934 she met and married Richard Crooks in Moscow, Idaho. He was killed in 1944 in the Marshall Islands and won a purple heart for his courageous efforts in WWII. They had one child together, Richard (Dick) Crooks. During WWII Esther worked for the Army Signal Depot in Sacramento, California. She then returned to her beloved Idaho after the war and worked as a waitress and bartender in Orofino. After the death of her first husband she moved to Yakima, Washington, and graduated from Washington Florist Design School. Esther loved flowers and worked in floral shops in the Yakima area until 1967. She found her way back to Orofino and worked at Oud’s Hardware and Snyders Sporting Goods.

After being widowed at an early age she later remarried Orval (Buck) Kassel in Orofino, Idaho, but ended in divorce. In 1968 she married Clyde Price in Kamiah, Idaho. They had many happy years together, until his death 1993. She enjoyed reading, crossword puzzles, camping and fishing with family, and gardening. She organized the Orofino Sodbusters Gardening Club in 1953. She loved her small family and her friends. In 1972, Esther started work for the State Liquor Store in Orofino, Idaho and managed it for 12 years until retiring in 1984.

As all her family and friends know, Esther was very involved in politics, in both the local and state arenas. She was on the City Council for Orofino, Idaho from 1981 until 1993. Esther was proud to be the Clearwater Democratic Party Chairman for several years in Orofino, and she was awarded the State Chair’s Award from the Idaho Democratic Party. Governor John Evans appointed her to the Idaho State JETPA Committee for one term and Governor Cecil Andrus appointed her to the same committee for an additional two terms. Esther served on the Executive Boards for CEDA and PIC. She worked hard on political campaigns for Governor Evans, Governor Andrus, Representative Richard Stallings, Representative Larry LaRocco and Attorney General Larry Echohawk, and Senator Frank Church. She served as Treasurer on the political campaigns for Clearwater County Sheriff Nick Albers, her dearest and closest friend. The entire Albers family remained friends with Esther to her dying day. She loved them as her own family and often referred to the Albers children as her grandchildren.

After the sudden and untimely death of her only son, Dick, Esther sold her home in Riverside and moved to Brookside Landing in 2001. Esther, or Nana as her immediate family called her, was the pillar of strength of the family. Often providing advise and wisdom to family, as only time and life experiences can provide.

Esther is survived by her grandchildren Bradley N. and Sandra M. Crooks of Moscow Idaho; Richard K. Crooks of Moscow, Idaho; great-grandchildren Kimberly Mearse of Bend, Oregon, Nathan B. Crooks of Lewiston, Idaho and Simonne M. Crooks of Moscow, Idaho. She is also survived by her great-great-grandchildren Octavia and Anikyn Crooks of Lewiston, Idaho; Corbin Crooks of Mitchell, South Dakota and Avery Mearse-Spikerman of Bend, Oregon. She is also survived by her nephew, Scott Crocker of Roseburg, Oregon.

She is preceded in death by her parents, Oscar and Anna Bolon-Aiken; siblings Leora Andrews, Inez Howington, and Jim Aiken; her son Richard (Dick) Crooks; and husbands Richard Crooks, Orval (Buck) Kassel, and Clyde Price.

She made a difference to her family, friends and community. All who knew her will miss her vivacious personality and strong character. Esther, Nana, your spirit will be with us always.

There will be a celebration of her life at Brookside Landing on Sunday, January 10, from 2:00 to 4:00.


(Written by Brad and Sandye Crooks).

Sketch at rest

Man and dog, shot with the pen.

The last book?

Maybe it's time to put together "a reader" with the stuff I like best and actually retire. Hmm. Maybe "retire" means a totally new focus, Retire "as a writer,"

Ducks lose

Ohio State was the better team today. They deserved to win. It was a fun game to watch, and a new star, the Ohio State QB, rose to the occasion and will be back next year, as will most of the Oregon team.

A good bowl season, highlighted by Idaho's win. And a few more games to come, including the championship game, which actually I'm not terribly interested in.

Champagne & Lobster

Pasadena

I loved growing up in Pasadena, 1948-1958. So I love New Year's day to remind me of what still feels like my home town. We lived two blocks from the parade route, near its end where the floats were parked. We had fruit trees in the yard -- apricot, lemon, avacado. The sycamore tree in front of our house still stands but everything else was removed for the Foothill Freeway. The highlight of the parade was always Hopalong Cassidy or Monty Montana or Lash LaRue. Ah, sweet childhood memories. I even feel a little homesick.

Later, Oregon in the Rose Bowl! God I hope they wear traditional uniforms and don't prance out like a ballet troupe!

Terrible journalism

Some of the worse journalism I've ever seen is coming from ESPN regarding the Leach affair. Of course, the son of one of their commentators is involved but this should make them lean over backwards to be fair. Not so. They take the most extreme interpretation and run with it. Now, however, new facts are emerging. A trainer testified that the kid was not required to stand in the dark equipment room -- in fact, he could sleep if he wanted to. He was checked on every 15 minutes. This is beginning to look like a university witch hunt after the coach. If Leach's facts are right, he is going to win a bundle. More power to him.

"I instructed Adam to stay in the garage and out of the sun, so the light would not worsen his condition," Pincock said in the statement. "While in the garage, Adam was walking around, eating ice, sitting on the ground, and, at one point, sleeping; at no point was there any enforcement to make Adam stand up."

Read the story

And Leach is beginning to tell his side of the story.

It has been widely reported that Leach locked Adam James in a closet or a shed after James sustained a concussion at a practice last month. Leach said he only ordered James to be taken “out of the light” and did not know specifically where he had been taken.

“I was busy coaching practice,” Leach said.

He added: “There have been several things that have been brought to my attention on the ticker that’s just false,” Leach said, referring to ESPN’s bottom line ticker. “He was never locked anywhere. At no point was he locked anywhere. At no point was there an electrical closet.”

Read more

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This reminds me of someone being accused of child molestation. One is guilty until proven innocent and by the time it's all over, if the person is innocent, so what?, their careers and personal lives are already ruined.

There are two kinds of people in this world: those who would rather convict an innocent person than let a guilty person go; and those who would rather let a guilty person go than convict an innocent person. I belong to the latter. Innocent first, not the other way around, which is what happens so often in practice.