Mornings

Front burner today, finish the MFA novel so I have time tomorrow to put together my thoughts about it. Later, if the weather is good, yard work.

Getting coffee this morning, I was swept away in a flood of memories about past morning conversations. Most of my best conversations have been early in the morning, either over breakfasts or even, years ago, after a long night of drinking, sobering up conversations, waking up conversations. All those conversation partners have passed -- well, except a couple in L.A. I talk to Sketch now but he has a limited vocabulary for talking back.

It's going to be a tough week. But when it's over, I'm on the downhill side of the term. And sooner than I think, the Summer of Downsizing will begin.

I'm going to try to finish this novel with enough hours left in the day to do more. We'll see.

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I also had this imaginary conversation with my doctor as I was waking up.

D...Are you depressed?
C...Unfortunately, no.
D...Unfortunately?
C...Depression today is a sign of sanity. However, I'm too egotistical to be depressed. I feel blessed.
D...Blessed how?
C...That I was born when I was born. Look at my good timing. A teenager at the birth of rock and roll. Too young for Korea. Too old for Vietnam. My parents stayed married. I saw Citation run. I saw Mickey Mantle play. I saw Hugh McElhenny play.
D...So you're not depressed but wish you were depressed?
C...That's not what I said. I said if I were depressed, well, it would show I have more sensitivity to the world at large than I do. But I focus on tending my own garden instead. Thus, I feel more blessed than depressed.
D...Do you want to try some--
C...Doc, I don't want to try anything. Don't worry about me. I ache, therefore I am. This is better than, I don't ache, therefore I'm not.
D...Do you want to see a psychiatrist?
C laughs....Why is medicine so predictable? Have a nice day.