Devil's Dictionary

KILL, v.t. To create a vacancy without nominating a successor.

KILT, n. A costume sometimes worn by Scotchmen in America and Americans in Scotland.

KING, n. A male person commonly known in America as a "crowned head," although he never wears a crown and has usually no head to speak of.

KLEPTOMANIAC, n. A rich thief.

KORAN, n. A book which the Mohammedans foolishly believe to have been written by divine inspiration, but which Christians know to be a wicked imposture, contradictory to the Holy Scriptures.

Ambrose Bierce